So my house finally got broken in to. No, it’s not official. No police reports or detectives on the scene. But things definitely weren’t right when I came downstairs this morning.

See my landlord (who lives downstairs in a nice duplex in a yuppie neighborhood) is quite the odd bird to say the least. He took over the house a year into our lease and things have progressively gotten stranger as the months pass. But more on that in a second.

So as I’m coming downstairs, I notice that there’s a light on in the hallway that connects our section with his. And the door is open (which I always shut because he children are quite possibly louder than any other creatures on earth). As I round the corner, I notice that our shoe rack and two sets of work shoes are thrown down the hallway. The rack itself is haphazardly tossed against the wall, barely standing up. Lying on the ground is a can of mushrooms. Bingo. Fungi don’t lie (but fun guys might. no seriously, these are the jokes).

As I go through the hallway I merely think that his kids got rowdy last night and once again disrespected our stuff (routine) and left it that way. But then I noticed, down the next hallway that one of my framed pieces of art is lying on the ground. A full flight of stairs and around several corners from where it originally hung. This print hangs right next to our actual apartment door.

So this clues me in to the fact that something strange has indeed happened. I go back upstairs, check the rest of my art in our upper hallway and also check our storage closet which is not behind lock, and accessible to this odd-habited theif. Nothing else seems out of place.

Downstairs in the basement, on my way to my car in the garage, I notice a few things that have apparently been rifled through. But nothing obvious missing (at least property belonging to my roomate or myself). Odd.

But none of this actually surprises me. See, when said Landlord moved in, he *uninstalled* the lock on the side door. No seriously. He actually removed the entire mechanism, so there’s just a gaping hole in the door. In fact, he even went as far as to rig up an ingenious system (to keep this now-swinging door shut) of wedging a piece of rubber in the door jam. There really are no bounds to what this modern day Jed Clampet can come up with.

So it’s no surprise if someone actually violated our house. Hell, he might as well have invited them in for tea. He brazenly (in cahoots with his spawned children) leaves the garage door open routinely, even when no one is home. His children have full access to the entire house when he’s away and never close any door behind them. So is it any wonder?

No. But nonetheless it creeps me out. Not in a “time to get a Guardian alarm” kinda way. But still. To think that someone came right up to our front door.

What a way to start the day. Just remember kids: locked doors aren’t just for woosies anymore. You could be next.