Though my life seems to be in constant fast-forward, the rest of me is slowing down. Unplugged at home from all conveniences has left me in a retreat-like state: free of music, internet, TV and other distractions. And what has come of it all? I forgot how much I value silence.
Really, though, it’s more than just silence that I’ve been missing. I think it’s the ability to watch things as they pass by. With everything else in my life operating at a break-neck pace, I have become so spun around with it all that I haven’t stopped to notice the little things. And damnit, that’s where it counts most.
One thing that has come to the surface the past few weeks is just how much I value someone who listens. I mean really listens. I have found myself, for many years now, changing how I talk…from person to person…based purely on the fact that I know they aren’t listening. I’ve changed the speed of my speaking to become more rapidfire and to seemingly not waste the other person’s time. I’ve changed the length of sentences and paragraphs. I speak often in soundbites, easily digestible for that’s what I know people are looking for: the PowerPoint presentations in spoken format…bulleted lists. Get to the bottom of it. Cut the fat.
Bullshit.
Why do I do this? Well, firstly I guess it’s because I want to be heard for what I have to say. And in order for my friends, my co-workers, etc to not tune me out after a few words, I have to get it all in before their ears close. I don’t think of myself as verbose. In fact I highly value brevity (especially in humor). But what causes us to do this?
The more I think about it all, the more I worry about the analytical skills of my future children. Sure, it’s a stretch, but with everything set up the way it is now, I think I have reason to worry, even if slightly.
In a society where there is true information overload, infinite data thrown at us daily, I can’t help but expect us to have to hunt and peck for what we are going to listen to, to trust, to digest. I know if I read every email, every banner ad, every web page, every spam message, listened to every commercial (print, radio and TV), read every billboard on my way home…I would go insanse. I would explode from it all. But nonetheless, we can’t escape it.
Fast, cut-scene style commericals/TV/videos have been en vogue for years, demanding either scruitinizing attention to catch every nuance, or else a zombie-state to half-digest it as a whole and not parts.
A Cliffnote culture who’s books (at least modern, that I’ve read) are more casual, colloquial in style. Long gone are the days of sweeping paragraphs, illustratively describing the most minuet visual details.
Even music has taken cues recently, with plenty of modern music being easily condensed into shorter pop formats. No grandiose guitar solos. No extended bridges. Three and a half minutes or less. Bam. Instant hit. Anything more is laborious to listen to.
And perhaps I’m wrong, but I think they even removed portions of the SATs that deal with analytical thinking and reading comprehension. That, to me, is utterly assinine.
In a world where everything is spelled out for us, where we don’t have to read between the dreaded lines or work at all to get to the bottom of it, it is by all means understandable that we’ve all grown increasingly less patient in our listening skills. Our time is precious enough, right? Well, I for one want to do my part to fight any encroaching natural tendency to do this.
All in all, I truly value someone who patiently listens to your points, without rushing you through what you have to say. They trust you to be succinct, yet thorough, and thusly do not tune you out if you go over a 20-second unspoken limit. They will never talk over you, and in fact will pause a few seconds before their own response. Speaking clearly and slowly, all the while secretly throwing the metaphorical finger to that board-room MTV style of dialogue.
Where’s my rocking chair and sweet tea? Lord I’m getting old…
