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Better Living Through People

Originally posted on October 13, 2005

I never cease to be amazed by the mysteries of the human brain. True, I have always toyed with the idea of going into psychology (and haven’t ruled it out completely yet), but I’m afraid my pursuit of that intrest might lead me down a dark alley where I would get beaten up and told all the secrets that there are to know about why and how we think the way we do. And perhaps my interest in psychology is really just an interest in rediscovering the mysteries of the physical brain after all.

Everyone is aware of the amusing ability of the brain to link multiple senses or various memories together, unknowingly. Hearing “Time of Your Life” by Green Day 10 years later still evokes the immediate recollection of watching the final episode of Seinfeld in the Lineen’s living room. Catching a whiff of cheap gas station air freshners still reminds me of riding around aimlessly in Matt’s Jeep, top down, for hours on end. Instantaneous, unprovoked memories, flooding multiple senses in harmony, producing momentary time travel in the span of a blinking eye.

I’ve written before about the cruelty of this particular ruse of life and nature, how the limits of our own humanity simply permit us a small number of “current memories.” But this idea of an emotional cache, a junk-bin of memories and feelings, is mind-boggling to me.

Beyond momentary instances of “where I was when I bought that CD” or “what I was wearing when I first met them,” the ability of renewed personal interactions to spawn this effect intruiges me more. People as the triggering factor, instead of smells or sounds, is something I’ve not thought much of.

As we make friends in life, it is a bond formed not in static, but in motion. We are connected as we all move forward in our journey…growing and adapting to the other aspects of our existance, right? Well, when friendships become distanced, spaced apart by time, geography or both, the macro-measurement (on a daily basis) of those changes becomes more noticeable. You see a friend that has been out of town for a few weeks and you’re immediately aware of all of the little details about your life that they need to be caught up on. But sadly, there are longer winters of absence in friendships.

Almost every single one of my close friends lives, in technical terms, “freaking far away.” From Cincinnati to Washington state, my closest friends are scattered across the lower 48. Needless to say, my interactions with them are limited at best. Random emails once every few months, returned voicemails filled with a hint of saddness. Life in your own world moves on, the tides of time not stopping for the miles of seperation between you. Next thing you know, it’s been three years or more since you’ve caught up with someone even on the most basic level. There was no falling out, just life getting in the way.

It’s amazing, though…awe-inspiring in fact, the ability some people have to pick right up where things left off. No weirdness, no pretense, no hesitant pauses or unsure glances. There is immediate recognition that neither of you planned this absence and no one is more at fault than the other.

But what is more incredible is how easily the brain and body adapt back to the time in your life where this person was integral. Body language reverts, speech patterns change and once overused inside jokes breath fresh air. Just as olafactory and auditory senses are so closely linked and memories rapidly accessible by the brain, the entire body adapts to previous memories and patterned behaviors simply upon contact with an old friend. Finally, the great distances of both time and miles are washed away in a split second.

With sounds or smells as triggering factors of memories, the recollection process is brief and fleeting. Intense in cruelty and unfair in its brevity, these moments never last more than a few seconds. But with another human as the variable factor, it is a more constant and lasting effect. Sure, as the hours of your reunion wear on, we unfairly and unconsciously adapt and our natural “take everything for granted” function creeps in. But even at a small degree, the total effect cannot be reduced to zero. Reliving memories through human interactions far surpasses that of living through photographs and scrapbooks.

So while I cherish remembering every minute detail about the circumstances surrounding my CD collection, the flood of emotion and memories that I am going to experience in the coming few days will be second to none. Having all of my closest friends and family, in one place, united in personal sacrifice of money and precious time, from all over the country, is the greatest gift anyone could give me.

I live for the memories, often neglecting the present in the process. So this weekend is the fodder for future waves of nostalgia. As we all go back to our homes Sunday, and the years roll by, I hope everyone will take with them just a smidge of this magic.



Comments

Looking forward to rehashing old memories and making a few more new ones!

See you tomorrow buddy!

said Rudy

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Break the Chains

I gave up fast food in February of 2002 and haven't had it since. I don't agree with the business models of the corporations or what they've done to the American cultural landscape. But I still have days where I think I could mug someone for an Arby's beef'n'cheddar and some curly fries.

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