Anyone who knows me knows that I steer wide and clear of political debate. Notice I said debate here because I don’t mind level-headed conversation in the slightest. In fact, I find it refreshing and entertaining. But it takes a certain person who is able to strip emotion out of their viewpoints, and that is not easy to come by.

So, naturally since I’m not one for politics, I rarely write about it. But in this morning’s routine trip around The Internet, I happened upon this piece of ignorant crud. Allow me one brief moment of foggy weakness, friends. I have nothing good to say about this person’s writing.

I find it almost inconceivable that when discussing a cultural event such as SXSW (South by Southwest for those that don’t know) that it can be recast in a completely different light. SXSW is a yearly event that is held dear by most involved with both music and new media. It is not a counter-cultural extravaganza of epic liberal proportions, despite what The Daily Texan wants you to believe. And how anyone could perceive it as such, let alone convince others, is far beyond my ability of reason.

What startles me most when reading politically-charged “journalism” is the bubble in which these people live. Like street gang members born and raised on conspiracy theories, liberal and conservative loudmouths alike believe that every single event in life is hinged upon the “war” on the streets. Is there a war? Who’s attacking what? Did I miss something? I thought the war was overseas? Why do you assume that the world and the other party is out to ruin your life? Do you not realize that civilization did not evolve in the presence of one (very limited) bed of beliefs? The image that comes to mind, continually, when I read political editorials, is of a small child surrounding themselves in a pillow fort, defending their soft kingdom from fancied foes.

The article contains many a gem for quoting, like, “Texas, we need to learn how to identify this liberal menace.” My personal favorite is the slightly more verbose but no less fiery, “I, for one, don’t read any books or periodicals, and I’ve programmed my TiVo to automatically block out any television show that doesn’t feature Ann Coulter or Bob Novak.”

Someone please tell me how plugging one’s ears to at least 50% of the country’s views is healthy? Filtering out “real life” to contain only the parts that you agree with? I’m no shrink, but this has to do a real number on the head. And don’t get me started on the God issue.

The last time I checked, the religion to which (stereotypically speaking) the Texans and more largely the radical conservatives belong is just a smidge more tolerant than this article lets on. Oh hell, let’s be honest. If you truly do call yourself a Christian, vomiting intolerance, doubt, anger and dare I say hate might not sit too well with the Big Guy upstairs…but that’s just a guess. After all, isn’t that counter to some of the most cardinal beliefs of your faith?

Again, I know there are whackos people like this on both sides, all over the country. For the most part, I think having people on either end of the spectrum is healthy. But as someone who identifies himself as a Christian, please do not drag my God into this. Do not paint him with guns on his hips. Do not automatically choose a political party for him, and proceed to speak on his behalf. And the next time you go speaking of the fiery bowels of hell, please do so with something other than a self-appointed sense of authority.

I’m no liberal. I’m no conservative. What I am is tired of grown up children pretending that politics is a matter of life and death. If only they would put the passion and zeal that they dedicate to tearing down others into something a tad more productive. Maybe then would we have a country worth arguing about.