Some days are just meant to start badly. And by “badly,” I simply mean, “the level at which homicide becomes justified by a court of law.”

I’ve been struggling with my morning routines lately, as Jonas has been setting me off on two wrong feet each a.m., not just one. I’m a morning person without a doubt. This is a well documented fact to my family and friends. However, I now must add the caveat of “but only when no one screws with me before coffee time.” I never thought I’d be that guy.

So this morning, after the freshly familiar routine of wrestling with Dogzilla, drying blood off of cut fingers and skating out the door before he eats my leg, I hit the road eager for peace and solace in my music and java.

And then the rain came. Again.

Last night it poured like it hasn’t in ages, violent storms and torrential rain. However, when I left the house, it was clear and the sun was out. It was the picture of “the day after The Storm.” But the ride to work found the storm had not passed downtown yet.

Of course, I had neglected to grab my umbrella. Not that I hadn’t considered it. But I valued my appendages too much and chose to remain in tact rather than risk grabbing for it before walking out the door. Big. Mistake.

I sucked it up, left the parking garage at a healthy but unfrenzied clip. I was determined to just deal with being a little wet. A two block walk got me all too sufficiently drenched, but I was just relieved to find shelter at the front steps. I brace myself for the freezing wave of air conditioned air hitting my wet clothes. I swipe my security card. Green light! Go!

False.

The one morning that I decide to choose life over the umbrella just happens to be the same day the security entrance system at my office calls it quits.

All I could think of was just how badly I wanted to “call in sick” and go sleep in my car with the heater on the much-underused “Earth Core Heat” setting.