And you know they ask me to get on the mic. And they ask me, can I kick it? Word. Yes you can. Well I’m gone…

Hopefully if you’re reading this then one of two things happened: 1) Burt (my prison ‘friend’) convinced me to pen this from prison because I was caught throwing Jonas out the back window while driving on I-75, or 2) The staff at FTILFF actually showed up to work the one day a week that they’re asked to, and succeeded in getting an edition out without their esteemed editor.

Don’t hold your breath for #2.

Anyway, today marks the first day of my much-needed vacation. First up? Wedding bells in the 419 for my good friend Tyler (Hi Tyler!). Hope the kid taking my measurements over the phone at the tux shop wasn’t on dope that day.

1. My dog, snoring - Pretty much the only thing Jonas does that I can laugh at. And he’s only taken 4 naps in 4 months (a paltry average). But yet hearing him saw serious logs from across the house remains one of the most humorous things in my life right now. I wish you could hear it.
2. Keith Olberman and his address to Bush (video) - I hate politics. But I find this monologue by ex-Sports Center cohost passionate and honest. Two things severely lacking in the field of politics. And yes, I actually knew something mildly pertinent to sports.
3. This guy’s passion for pizza - Holy Christmas this guy was serious about delving into creating the perfect pizza. His understanding of yeast alone is commendable. Perhaps slightly neurotic in his quest, but a surprisingly interesting read (with pics!).
4. Surreal Honda commercial - Uh…what? How the hell did they do that? That’s the second or third Honda commercial over the years that has been technically astounding. Why don’t I see these on TV, though?
5. The feeling of complete newness just from rearranging furniture - It still amazes me how fresh you can make a room feel from simply arranging the contents in a different manner. We did this to our living room last weekend, after months of me feeling like it just “didn’t feel right.” It’s a new space!

Next week’s edition will be done seaside with homebrew in hand. I gave the staff the week off. Who am I kidding…half of them never show up anyway.