Everything that we were told was wrong. All the warnings, every in-the-know prophecy and every last pearl of supposed wisdom was off. And frankly, I’m happy about that very fact.
365 days ago we were surrounded by all of our closest friends and family. The eldest amongst them seemingly the most liberal with advice. And while the handshakes and smiles poured forth, I became increasingly unsure. 365 days later, I realize that I should have never even doubted myself.
As we sat at the table last night, in a dimly lit basement of a downtown building, I came to terms with just how much has changed. Before, the thought of being at such an expensive restaurant would have made me feel silly and contrived. Ordering scotch from an overly attentive waiter would have been truly daunting. But now that things have shifted, and now that I know everyone’s warnings were wrong, I’m ok with it.
The Wife™ and I celebrated our first anniversary yesterday. A pleasant day of cool autumn air and a beautiful clear evening serving a gentle reminder of last year’s big event. And instead of opting for a more ostentatious observance, we did what felt right, something distinctly “us”. No surprise bi-plane trips, no shocking diamond earrings or weekend getaways in Chicago. Such thrills, while perfectly fitting for others, just doesn’t suit us. We had a quiet day at home,a relaxing dinner at a great restaurant, and a playful exchange of some humble gifts. And while others will scoff at our lack of enthusiasm in celebrating such a momentous occasion, I’m reminded of all that misgiven advice last year.
When you marry, the unfortunate byproduct of the surrounding weeks is that many people pass along words that are intended as advice, but sadly fall short. If we were to believe all that we were told last year, the past 12 months should have been exceptionally trying times filled with arguments of epic proportions, nagging and nitpicking, and overall unrest. After all, they say that the first year of marriage is one of the most difficult.
And while I cannot say that we’ve been without incident, we both remarked last night at how wrong that collective advice was. Instead of this chaos and unhappiness, I’ve found a woman that has made me realize more about myself than I ever knew before. I feel ten years older, thirty years more comfortable and finally my life seems to have a healthy pace. She’s stuck with it, even during arguments over Excel budgets and unclean bathrooms. And at the end of the day, she’s still there to steal the covers in the middle of the night and blame me for it in the morning. And I love her all the more for it.
So to all my friends who have yet to be blessed with marriage, when that time finally does come, don’t listen to all the advice. And the next time I’m at a wedding, you can bet your ass that what I’ll be preaching to the newlyweds is to simply hang on to each other. It’s still a ride, bumpy or smooth.
