In reading this article this week, I can’t help but disagree with several points that the author, Anthony Robinson, has made. And that’s saying a lot, because I normally don’t question the argument of most writers, as I typically assume that they know more than I.
Robinson’s article takes the stance that the Age of Entitlement is upon us in America, that entire generations of people are drugged with the notion that we have a right and privilege to everything and if things do not go our way, we complain. Loudly. To this thesis, I agree whole-heartedly. What I do not support in his argument is his notion that self-esteem is the syringe for releasing such an obnoxious epidemic.
Every one of us knows the signs. The child who whines about having their favorite television show turned off; the adult who barks about gaining weight; the co-worker who is indignant about being told to arrive at work on time. All feel a sense of entitlement, an unquestionable right to do whatever they desire despite knowledge of what is “right” or even direction from a superior. It’s as if we live in a society where equality reigns supreme, where authority is an out-dated construct and where every one of us is just so darned “special.” We live in a Jack Handey nightmare world where no one can tell us what to do.
Robinson suggests that affluence and consumerism feed this sense of entitlement. I would agree, as they both pander to one’s superficial sense of worth. But I don’t feel that bolstered self-esteem is the reason for whiny children and loud-mouthed adults. Perhaps the opposite. Ego, of the intellectual variety, is. Robinson makes the claim, but fails to differentiate between pride and self-esteem. In my mind, most people’s self-esteem is in decline, as opposed to on the rise. Most people feel badly that they’ve gained weight, that they’re too lazy and watch too much television or even that they are chronically late ever morning. Our sense of self is not dead, but rather our concept of “right” and “wrong” are clouded by moral relativism (in the popular sense) and by pride. We acknowledge that other opinions exist, but refuse to submit to thinking that one view is better than another. Our ego, our intellect has gotten the best of us because we can rationalize the hell out of everything.
My generation has been raised (by parents who gave birth to a counter-cultural movement which railed against authority) being told that we live in America where our cup of rights overfloweth, where everything is equal, and that we should not be slighted anything. Dead are the days of the nuclear family with strong parents, rules and structure. Upon us are those of lenient parenting, “wanting the children to blossom with their fullest potential” and seeing discipline as limiting and just plain mean. Parents are to be best friends, not headmasters. Children should be encouraged and not put in their place. And while I certainly don’t advocate a return to harsh physical control, I fear the day that I have to tell my child, with eyes that are filled with tears, that no, they cannot have more chips. And that is because I said so.
One of the first lessons my mother ever taught me was that there will always be people that are greater and lesser than myself. I try an see myself as better than no one and willing to receive authority whenever appropriate. By this I am not denying my self worth in willingly subjugating myself. Every day I remind myself that I do not deserve anything that I have, and that if it were to all be taken away from me I should utter no complaint as life has it’s ways with everyone. Does this make me a great person? Hardly. It makes me someone who is simply trying to come to grips with his place in the world. I am probably just not working hard enough to get that raise or taking my daily runs too softly to see bigger gains. The world isn’t out to get me, I’m just too proud to admit my own failures.
As always, I fear I’ve drifted far off topic, ruining any chance of a coherent line of argument. I simply feel that self-esteem should be nurtured and not regarded as the downfall of our society. Pride and egotistical grand-standing are what have gotten us into this mess, into living in this Age of Entitlement. Our children (and our fellow adults) need to learn the fundamental lesson that we are owed nothing in this life.
I just don’t want to explain that to a four year old.
