When your alarm clicks on in the morning, do you listen to the radio? Do you hear music? Or news? I used to. I used to get my local news via the radio from 5:45-6:00 a.m., starting each day with a pleasant rush of information that is useful to me as a citizen. However, the pitchfork-wielding, hay chewing yahoos that give The ‘Tucky a bad name have gone and hillbillied that up too.

Now, every morning, I get out of bed refreshed by knowing the exact currency that can be exchanged for every type of livestock or farm animal in existence. It’s like MSNBC, but for pigs, sheep and cows.

If they throw goats into the mix I’m putting a For Sale sign in my front yard with a quickness.