I believe that I may have invented the single most entertaining game on the the planet Earth. Well, a game for the dog at least. Okay so not so much fun for him as confusing. But it’s hilarious to me. And since I walk on two legs, that’s what’s important here.

With Jonas being on his (relatively) best behavior these days, we’re at a loss with what to do with our free time. No longer are our mornings and evenings spent nursing bloody stumps, repairing damaged furniture or running the 800 meter sprint just to be able to get the remote back. True, we’re still in the middle of a several-week-stint of a Grab Sh*t Off The Counter Like A Ninja-Dog behavioral pattern, but we are SO over that by now. So, as human ingenuity usually does in times of boredom, I created an aptly titled set of games for Jonas. And I’m fairly sure that I could sit and watch him play both Tape Nose™ and Sticky Paw™ all day long.

The rules are simple:

1. Choose a game, Tape Nose™ or Sticky Paw™ (Note, if your dog’s nose is not dry enough, Tape Nose™ will be ineffective and will likely result in the ingestion of the game piece. Consider yourself warned.)


2. Get some tape. I’ve only tried Scotch™ tape, as that is what was on hand. I have a sneaking suspicion that duct tape may work even better. Don’t bother with electrical tape though, as that is the worst excuse for tape, ever.


3. Roll tape onto itself. Just as if you were going to tape something down, roll it back onto itself (if playing Sticky Paw™) and adhere to the underside of his foot. If playing Tape Nose™, simply adhere the tape to your dog’s nose.


4. Sit back and watch. Revel in your power over this inferior creature, watch his confusion. Have a beer.

See, the reason why these two games are so unbelievably brilliant are that they’re 1) cheap (and I’m all about The Cheap) 2) hilarious and 3) never-ending. With other, far inferior games like Fetch or Flashlight-On-The-Floor, your dog will likely catch on and figure out how to cheat or end the game faster. Sticky Paw™ and Tape Nose™ are so infuriating for your dog, they can’t help but be utterly consumed! I have a hunch that after a bit more R&D, Sticky Paw™ will be the better game as it involves not just the odd feeling of an unmovable paw, but also the curiously tempting sound of “The Thwip” as they continually pick their paw up to move.

Watching Jonas pace in circles trying to ascertain where The Thwip Sound is coming from and attempting to formulate just how in the world his giant bear paw is sticking to the ground…it truly is priceless. Don’t tempt me with complaints of animal cruelty or idiotic simplicity unless you too have exhausted both of these games in your own household.

I think The Wife™ doesn’t approve of these games, but between you and I, I think it’s because she’s just jealous that she did not invent them herself. And to that I say fair enough! One day Jonas will also learn to master the game Hide That Remote & Turn Off The TV While Mom Is Watching American Idol. I’ve just got to come up with a catchier name, or else he’ll never learn that command.