I have a confession to make and it’s embarrassing: I’m so anal-retentive that I start the process of packing for any trip more than two weeks before scheduled departure. I have comprehensive lists of items that must go, and a holding area to collect everything. I realize that this makes me certifiably insane and that I have a problem. But you can’t argue that I’m not organized like nobody else dammit.

What slays me is thinking of all the bullsh*t that my parents had to pack because of us kids when I was younger. As if going on a two week vacation to the beach 900 miles away wasn’t stressful enough, my parents had to deal with me insisting that, yes, my four-foot-long keyboard DID indeed have to go with us. You know, just in case I wanted to squeeze in some extra piano practicing at the beach.

1. The best 5 seconds spent on the Internet - Man did this thing make the rounds this week. It seems as if everyone and their aunt was linking to it. But you know what? The Internet does not lie. Watch this prairie dog and you’ll understand. OR WILL YOU!? (Conan-style dramatic delivery)
2. Bella Knitting’s Baby Viking Hat - There was a reason that the web exists, and brilliance like this is de facto proof of it’s awesomeness. Sad that all of my friends with children have girls, because this baby hat rules. Kinda like Leif Ericson did. No? Too early for poor social studies humor? Got it.
3. Real beef - Naw son, not the East Coast/West Coast debate or Biggie vs Tupac. Real ground beef as opposed to turkey meat. I was raised eating lean ground turkey which sure, it’s healthy. But when you’re having a burger it’s just not the same. This week I ground my own patties with a mixture of sirloin and chuck and slapped ‘em on the grill. It’s the difference of night and day, Big K and Coke. I’ll have a hard time ever going back to turkey.
4. Overheard In New York - Whoa, totally uncensored text, so consider yourself warned. But if these conversational snippets are indeed snatched from real life, then the American public is way funnier than I ever imagined. Or at least New Yorkers. I still don’t believe people in Nebraska have funny bones.
5. Microsoft Surface Parody - Again with the meme vids from the week! This one is quite well done. If you’ve never heard of the MS Surface, it is their next-gen computing “solution” that is supposed to revolutionize how we interact with technology. Watch and laugh, because one day your computer will be a big-ass table.

How my parents put up with this is beyond me. I can’t recall a time when they laid it on the line and told me how much of a toolbox I was being. Instead my dad would just find some masterful way of packing it all in. And as I prepare the car-load for our vacation next Wednesday, I have enough sense to now weigh the options, the real decisions that matter, such as “one pair of pants or none?” and “Will The Wife™’s family give me sideways glances if I pack 10-days of clothing into a small backpack?” Hey, don’t judge me! I’ve got far too much beer to cram into the car. A guy’s gotta make some sacrifices, ya know?