I’m not a very good sick person. By that I don’t mean that I get whiny or needy, wanting only to sleep and lay in the fetal position in bed moaning to myself in woe. In fact, it’s rather the opposite. I’m a terrible sick person in that I refuse to accept that I’m sick at all, and feel useless if I actually have enough sense to stay home from work.
Friday I was sick. And as if being sick on a Friday isn’t sad enough, I was at home with nothing to do. Our internet connection was still busted, I was tired of reading the depressing economics books that I’ve been trying to finish since vacation and Judge Judy does nothing for me. I was awake just as early as I normally am with nothing to do except contemplate the existence of my navel. Awesome.
To make it all worse, this was the weekend that my parents were coming to visit, something that doesn’t happen all that often, and as it is that I quite enjoy my parents’ company, I was saddened that I was going to be feeling ill. Such is life, as my mother would say.
Now that it has all passed and my parents have returned home, I’ve come to the conclusion that in order to recover from an illness one does not need fancy prescription drugs or cocktails to soothe the throat. All one needs to do is the following:
- spend an entire day blowing insulation into your attic (must be during summer)
- fail to own gloves/be too cheap to use them when handling the insulation
- accidentally fall feet-first through the ceiling of your garage during the very last part of the job, effectively creating another job
Who would have thunk it? As I hung from the ceiling joists in the attic, legs dangling freely through the newly created skylight err… escape hatch hole in the garage ceiling, I had some time to contemplate. Maybe sweating out a cold is the best option. A little hard work (or a lot) might help push the illness through your system, no? At the time it seemed plausible. Or maybe it’s that I was high on adrenaline from the rush of almost pancaking myself on the concrete slab below. I’m not totally sure.
Nonetheless, I’m back and operational and wholeheartedly sorry that an issue of “5 Things I Love for Friday” failed to go to press. You can call Insight Broadband if you wish and voice your complaints. Be forewarned, though, that if you’re like me then you will likely be greeted with a customer service agent so highly skilled in the arts of indifference and apathy that you’ll hang up before making any difference.
Now it’s time to look into finally installing that fireman’s pole, seeing as how I have a place to put it and all…
