It appears as if there is a new trend in the corporate world these days when it comes to posting job openings. When I first entered the work place five very long short years ago, I lucked into a job, a job that saved me from my then current state of unemployment and my subsequent budget of $19/month for food. The thing is, way back then, all the way back in 2002, they did things that today appear to be frowned upon. Like listing a salary. Or actual words, words that mean something to the interested parties, words that translate to more than “BLAH BLAH BLAH.” They were cute little postings that looked like this:
Location: Louisville, KY
Type of employment: Full Time
Starting salary range: $35,000/yr, more based upon experience
This position will create both print and web-based designs (limited) for a variety of local and national clients. Must know usual design programs, Adobe Suite, etc as well as be familiar with HTML, JavaScript. Fun work environment. Must be a self-starter. 2 weeks paid vacation, sick leave.
Pretty normal, right? But now? Now corporate America is much smarter. It’s been half a decade. They *know* the design world, they’ve sipped the Kool-Aid and are hip to branding and the need for marketing. Now 98% of the job postings that I see come through are little more than this:
Location: NOT Louisville, KY
Type of employment: 24/7/365. START YESTERDAY.
Starting salary range: not specified You tell us what you want, then subtract 70%
Conceptualize, realize, tangentify the brand experience and user-brand relationship. Stragetize. Collateral. Interactive dynamic end users. This makes no sense, but you’re probably still searching for a salary range anyway, sucker.
You will be responsible for everything. Including cleaning the bathrooms. No vacations. Expected to carry 4 cell phones, a pager and an implantable RFID chip. You will design, develop, support, maintain 570 web sites and all the users and middle managers involved with getting you poorly written copy. You will design every print advertisement, video work and deliver mail. Must be able to work in a highly-stressful, chaotic environment, with no office. Benefits possible.
And while I *may* have exaggerated some of that, I swear on all that’s holy, some of those “requirements” are verbatim from recent postings in this area. I’ve seen one job in the past two years that actually advertised a salary range. Why? What are they trying to hide? The fact that you’ll be underpaid, overtaxed and under-appreciated? I think that’s expected in most jobs, to be honest. But trying to ascertain what is a “mildly-justifiable absurd career leap” and what is an “almost certainly absurd career leap” is darn near impossible. I couldn’t weed out the *really* crappy jobs if I wanted to. And what’s the alternative? Apply to them all and then turn them down when I find out I’d have to take a 20% cut? And don’t get me started on the fact that 50% of the job openings are listed from temp agencies…
Maybe it’s my geographic region. Maybe the fact that I live in the technological equivalent of a black hole doesn’t help. Perhaps in cities outside of Kentucky, postings for design jobs are written well (and pay well), giving the hopeful a sense that they might enjoy working there. But here? I’m starting to believe that I’d honestly have a better chance at becoming a diesel mechanic than I would waiting for a legitimate job opportunity.
