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Monthly Archives: October 2007

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There’s a reason I wasn’t a sculpting major

originally published on October 31, 2007

Halloween 2007

 


Blind Leading the Blind

originally published on October 29, 2007

Saturday morning The Wife™ and I had optometrist appointments because she is blind I’m, well, I’m just plain dumb. I hadn’t had my eyes checked in over eight years yet recently have found myself sitting so close to my gigantic monitor at work that I can count individual pixels. So yea, you could say it was about time I get that looked at.

Going into it I was totally freaked out. Eyes are a big deal to me. I’m idiotically proud of the fact that I have better than 20/20 vision and in a room of twenty people I’m usually the only one without glasses or contacts. My eyesight is precious to me, and I was really dreading having some douchebag with an MD tell me that I needed to join the rank and file of those with visual assistance. ‘Cuz you know an optometrist doesn’t wear glasses. Smug bastards.

Little did I know that when you go to the eye doctor, it’s akin to stepping back in time, into a historical vortex if you will, that drops you back into the Middle Ages. Contraptions and whizzgigs with metal prongs sticking up everywhere. Head braces and chin rests galore. A veritable torture museum I tell you. And this one machine? Yea, they’re all like “put your eye right up to it, it’ll be fine!” and then they’re all like, BAM! TAKE THIS CONCENTRATED AIR INTO YOUR EYEBALL. Hello? What the hell is that? I was *this* close to walking out after that deal breaker.

Anyway, after they poured hydrochloric acid into my eyeballs gave me eye drops to dilate my pupils, they sent me back to the waiting room for 15 minutes. The Wife™ was off getting her coke bottles adjusted so I passed the time by gazing out the windows, focusing on things far away. And when I happened to look down to my watch, I realized that this bastard doctor had pulled a fast one on me and caused me to go blind. I had a mini freak-out, you could say. My vision was gone. I couldn’t see a damned thing, except excessive blurriness. I was convinced that this douchebag with and MD had screwed up and given me battery acid the wrong drops and that this time, I actually was going to be blinded for life.

And then I remembered that he said things might be a tad bit fuzzy for a few hours. A shame he didn’t qualify “tad bit fuzzy” as being “equivalent to smearing Vaseline on your eyeballs.”

So I calmed down, knowing I hadn’t lost my precious gift of sight. He eventually told me that I could have glasses if I wanted them, with a whopping 0.25 prescription. The Wife™ and I checked out and on the walk to the car she confided that they must have put her contacts in wrong.

“Why? Do you need to go back in?”

“No, it’s fine. I just can’t really see.”

“Um, you know your eyes are supposed to be fuzzy, right? From the drops?”

“Really? They didn’t tell me that. I’ve been coming here for years and they’ve never told me that! I thought I was going blind for some reason.”

[silence]

“Duh! What kind of moron would think that they were going blind? Talk about being overly-dramatic. Sheesh, you women…”

And so my self-righteous indignation and I drove off, narrowing avoiding hitting every car on the way home.


5 Things I Love for Friday #90

originally published on October 26, 2007

  1. Jim Gaffigan on Bacon [video] - I’m not sure why, but I find Jim Gaffigan hilarious. I know his style turns off a lot of folks, but I find his mannerisms and delivery hysterical. This bit about bacon is gold. [via]
  2. This desk calendar - Sure it’s 600 bucks. But it’s all awesome-like and stuff. Really, though, a beautiful, simple design.
  3. Niche Modern’s lights - How gorgeous are these light fixtures? I’m particularly fond of the Turret and the Stargazer series. These things are so beautifully designed, it hurts.
  4. Perceptive Pixel - I’ve linked to Jeff Han’s work before, but since then he’s launched a new venture and has expanded the demo of his mind-blowing multi-touch interface. Watch. Be amazed.
  5. TasteBook - I’ve got recipes coming out the wazoo. Hand-me-downs from my mother, originals scribbled on napkins, adaptations of published ones. Continuing the trend of on-demand personal publishing, TasteBook allows you to manage, upload, organize and print your own cookbook. It would make a fabulous gift, and if churches and companies would just use this format rather than the typical Kinko’s spiral bound ones…

In Due Time

originally published on October 25, 2007

Fancy a pint?

Until my head the weather clears, and until I get over this snit or little crisis that I’m having, I suppose I’ll just post whatever I feel like, whenever I feel like it. Deal? Hope you’ll stick with me.

On a really boring rather unrelated note, I was pleasantly surprised by something yesterday. My first beer, an amber ale of standard fashion, apparently has finally turned a corner. I had all but given up on it being a shareable beer, one that I would gladly hand to a friend or house guest. From the get-go it was plagued with chill haze (cloudiness) due to unfiltered, suspended yeast and some bottles had a slight off-taste.

Now, however, most of the glaring imperfections have vanished, or at least faded enough to the background that they’re acceptable. So perhaps the lesson this week is that some things, despite their seeming state hopelessness, eventually come into their own.

I guess I have more to learn about patience and hope than I originally feared.


It tolls for thee

originally published on October 22, 2007

Perhaps it’s time to shut it down. The doubts and uncertainties have been slowly collecting with the cobwebs over the past few months, and maybe it’s due time to give in to them, submit and tear down the tent.

Reading through what I’ve written here over the past four years, I realize that there’s little to be proud of. Mindless toiling. Lazy reflection. Pointless rambling. There might be only one piece that I think was halfway decent in how it managed to capture my intentions.

So the site will likely continue to sputter and stall, and while I may consider trying to jump-start it again, I fear it’s time to put her to pasture. It was never what I thought it was, never what I hoped it could become. It should have been more than this verbose, shameful hack.


Five Things I Love for Friday #89

originally published on October 19, 2007

  1. The photography of Joey Lawrence - This kid is so wicked talented it’s not even funny. He’s a whopping 17, trotting the globe as a professional photographer and he doesn’t have a lick of professional training. His work is beautiful and my level of envy couldn’t be higher.
  2. Pumpkin Ginger Muffins - Yea, I know, the pumpkin thing is getting old. But these muffins rock. We had house guests this week and I threw them together before leaving for work. Moist yet not greasy, subtle yet pleasing autumnal flavor. The candied ginger is a brilliant touch. I also ground up some sugar (el cheapo baker’s sugar substitute) to dust the tops.
  3. “I’m So Hood” by DJ Khaled - Okay, so this is awkward. It might be less embarrassing to admit that I like some N’Sync songs. But for some damned reason, I find this song really catchy. Not good, I didn’t say good. The song itself is still crap. I say that so that I can maintain a certifiable level of indie elitism. So it’s catchy, not good. Got it?
  4. This week’s Layer Tennis match - Years ago I was addicted to Photoshop Tennis, and then it went away. This Friday’s match (reincarnated as LayerTennis) is between two esteemed Midwesterners, Chris Glass (Cincinnati) and Naz Hamid (Chicago). Both gentlemen are legends in their own right, and both two people who’s careers/blogs I’ve followed for years. Good luck to them both. I’ll be eagerly watching each volley on my phone the whole time.
  5. TadaList - I’m a habitual list maker who unfortunately never remembers to take his lists with him. Thus, I end up making the same lists at work and at home. I’ve tried digital implementations in the past (including Google Notebook, Google Docs, simple txt file on an FTP server, etc) but all weren’t natural enough. Now that I’ve got an iPhone, TadaLists are awesome. Perfect solution from the guys at 37 Signals.

Minus One, Plus One

originally published on October 15, 2007

It’s 1:27 in the morning and I’m sitting at a stoplight at the corner of Lewis and Sterns in Temperance, Michigan. The defroster is doing little to erase the injury that my weary sighs leave on the windshield. It’s 1:27 in the morning and I’m suddenly all-too-aware of just how cold it is outside and how lonely it is in my car. I wasn’t prepared for either.

Thirty-six hours before, I was at home in Kentucky, surrounded by my wife and dog, the two constant familiars in my life, unaffected by either loneliness or cold. But now, as this sadly unneeded stoplight flips from red to green and my car begrudgingly rolls forward, I can’t shake one or the other, despite my best efforts.

You never realize just how much you’ve come to depend on a person until they’re not there. When you are married, you’re granted more than a piece of paper and a new title, you’re given a partner that, for the better part of the next however many years, will always be with you, sharing the same experiences. Situations that in your previously single life used to be awkward are now a bit easier. Tasks and duties that before had seemed harder now exist as a shared load. Once you’re married you’ll slowly start to complain about how marriage has purged your life of certain single luxuries, but you won’t even recognize that The Shift has taken place. And suddenly, standing in a room full of people devoid of familiar faces, you’ll turn only to find that you truly are alone. Your constant partner of the past however many years is not there to share this uneasiness or efface the aching self-consciousness that is settling in. For the first time in years, you’ll realize just how much you’ve come to rely on another human being, despite proclamations of being self-sufficient and independent. For the first time in years, you’ll want to cry.

To my friends who were married this past weekend, please never forget this: as much as the proverbial road may bend and turn overgrown with obstacles insurmountable, you’ll always have a partner traveling with you, walking by your side and facing the same challenges. And to my beautiful wife who agreed to marry me two years ago today, thank you for being that person who’s always at my side. I never knew just how much I love and depend on you every single day.


5 Things I Love for Friday #88

originally published on October 12, 2007

  1. Renovation Voyeur - Beyond wristwatches, bags and office designs, one thing I love is before and after photos…especially of remodeling projects. A strange interest? Probably. But seeing the hidden potential in things excites me. This site showcases remodeling projects of apartments and houses. Now to just find someone to fund my own efforts…[via]
  2. How Creativity Is Killing the Culture - From the article, “Just create, says the world. Go ahead and line up for American Idol or America’s Got Talent or whatever. You can do it! And while you’re at it, why not fill the web with your poetry, videos, art, musings, and every little snippet of creative detritus you can muster. And don’t let anyone say it’s wrong!” Agreed, and mea culpa.
  3. Long distance beer runs - It’s a sad truth, but while my parents were on vacation last week in Maryland, I actually called to ask if they could visit a little beer store there to pick up a six-pack or two of Smuttynose Pumpkin ale. There’s something entirely wrong with having your parents go on beer run for you. But by tonight, I’ll be drowning my guilt in a pint (Yes, I’m driving to pick it up. Sheesh, I’m not that bad)
  4. Virtue Desktops - This nifty little app for OS X does what will soon be incorporated into the next release of the OS: spaces. And seeing as how my company likely won’t pay to upgrade, I’ll suffice with this. I now have three separate desktops (design/development, entertainment, communication) that I can flip between with a mouse gesture. It’s made my life so much better.
  5. Photos of Juneau - My friend Andrew who’s doing service work in Juneau for a year finally posted some photos of where he lives, where he hikes and the views from his house. I love gaining perspective of where people are, so when I talk to them I can picture what they’re surrounded by.

Death By Chocolate

originally published on October 10, 2007

That Jillian from “The Biggest Loser” needs to eat a cupcake and chill the eff out.

Yes, that’s really all I’ve got.


5 Things I Love for Friday #87

originally published on October 05, 2007

  1. Boys Like Girls covering Frou Frou - If you can suffer through the lame Chevy ad at the beginning, I think that these two guys from Boys Like Girls do really good job of covering the hit song from Garden State. A bonus is an acoustic version of their “Great Escape,” which I think is much better than the original, plugged-in version. Thanks Andrew.
  2. Pumpkin bread - It’s fall, which means pumpkin everything for me: soup, bread, beer, ice cream. You name it! Last weekend I baked two loaves of pumpkin bread for our trip to the cabin. I would eat this stuff ‘til the cows came home. Every day. Fo’ realz.
  3. Icon notepad - 8bit items in meatspace never get old. Awesome. But where’s my pixel pencil to write with?
  4. MyMileMarker.com - Anyone who’s ridden in a car with me knows I’m a dork who keeps a gas log, tallying each tank’s data in a little notebook. This summer I stumbled across a site that does much of the same for you. And while I still maintain a handwritten record as well, the digital version is great because it gives neat little charts of your fuel efficiency. And calculates your annual cost of gas…which is actually very, very depressing. And I can record via my phone now too!
  5. Sequence (game) - While holed-up in the cabin last weekend with three other couples, we played plenty of board games, which makes me happy. This game was new to me, and even though it uses a deck of cards (usually a death knell for me), it was overwhelmingly fun, engaging and scaled well for larger groups. Might be a purchase in my future…

The Plowman’s Plight

originally published on October 03, 2007

For someone who trusts deeply in the power of self-change, finally coming to terms with those parts of your being that are uniquely you and unable to be altered…that is a very difficult thing to swallow.

In our household, The Wife™ and I could not be any more opposed on the topic of change. Her approach to life is decidedly static, that people are born a certain way and every little thing they do is merely a reflection of “who they are.” Are you a bad communicator? That’s just how you are, people need to learn to accept it. Are you a poor listener? That’s a shame, but hey, that’s who you are, right? Myself, on the other hand, I presume that there is very little of “who we are” that cannot or should not be changed. I take a reductionist approach yet also really believe that perfecting the rougher edges of who we are is one of the highest pursuits we can strive for. Bad communicator? By working on that you can be much better, and learn a ton about yourself! Suck at listening? Try hard and I promise it’ll get better! The entire thing is hilarious to me, because in the relationship I’m totally the Eeyore, the eternal pessimist and she plays the grand optimist.

Sure, with her approach, life has little hope for getting better if you don’t like parts of your personality. But the problem with my viewpoint is that there are certain, fundamental portions of who you are that might not be able to be overcome with hard work or continual self-discovery. Though few and far between, tripping over these personality roadblocks while rushing headlong towards Changing leaves knees bloody and egos bruised. This past weekend was one of those unfortunate pratfalls.

There are things that I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to change. I think it’s how I’m wired, thanks to my parents. It frustrates me to know that I don’t have the knowledge to deprogram myself, or to recognize if that is even possible. I suppose the best thing to do is to come to accept these flaws, conceding and throwing up the “this really is who I am” flag. I can try to minimize the effects, diminish the impact on others and learn to come to grips with it myself.

Humble acceptance with a hopeful eye towards a personal miracle. I’ve got nothing else to try.


Did You Know?

Knee Jerk

I once slid on a piece of cardboard and embedded a packing staple in my knee. I never took it out, so the skin just grew over it.